Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Dark Anniversary

It's been about a year since I fell into this very deep depression. I've had a very hard time but it's getting a bit better. I'm working hard to get to the other side of this. I spend every day pep-talking myself, reminding myself of what I want to accomplish and what I have to live for. My good days are starting to outnumber my bad days finally. I found out, dramatically, that the people who I thought cared about me really didn't and that was a very hard blow. This period of not having my own computer and having no regular income are not helping - I can't take any online classes or keep up with the things that interest me and distract my brain from the negative thoughts. (I thought I had support with that, too, but no one seems to give a crap.) The kids and kitty have been quite helpful - they make me laugh nearly every day. Kerry has asked me to practice his football routes so I'm spending plenty of time outside getting fresh air and sunshine...although thunder cut our practice short yesterday. I'm not very good at passing a football but Kerry doesn't seem to mind. I just finished watching Freaks and Geeks on Netflix. It's one of the short-lived but brilliant shows that fans love so much. I loved it. Each of the characters is unique and fleshed-out and they all have realistic relationships with each other. It doesn't hurt that John Francis Daly, who plays Lance Sweets on Bones, is one of the main characters as a young teen and is so adorable. I can relate to the people in this show - I hung out with the burnouts in school and I've had a life-long desire to play Dungeons and Dragons. When I compare it to 90210, which Khloe just watched all of, I can't even believe that they're both about high schoolers. I guess viewers would rather have week after week of back-stabbing and screaming than realistic situations. The new season of Doctor Who starts really soon. I'm so excited! Every time the commercial is on my heart beats a little bit faster. Peter Capaldi is going to be amazing - he's so good in everything I've seen him in. There's a dinosaur in the commercial - I love dinosaurs! I like Clara as a companion, especially after the anniversary episode. I wish I could listen to all of the podcasts right now. I've missed six or seven episodes of each of the weekly ones. I'll bet that several of them have dissected the ad and have lots to say about every image. So, for now, I'd better get going. I've got some mom stuff to do and Candy Crush Saga to play.

8 comments:

Shybiker said...

Glad to hear you're feeling better. Welcome back to the blogosphere.

"Doctor Who" is fun. I liked the early episodes with Rose (Billie Piper)

Kristin Jones said...

I'm so glad things are starting to look up! xxxx

pastcaring said...

Oh I am so sorry you have had a tough year, Bobbi. Depression is a hard, hard hill to climb. And those around you may not always do and say the most helpful things. I know - been there. But yes, keep on keeping on, and eventually it gets easier.
I'm looking forward to seeing Peter Capaldi as Doctor Who too! xxx

Hollie "Jet" Black-Ramsey said...

I had bad depression that lasted about eight years starting when I was 14. So I feel ya. Thanks to meds I'm all better now and glad to hear you're finding happiness in the little things!

Pull Your Socks Up! said...

Sometimes I wonder (and shudder) at how shit my life would be without my kids to make me laugh everyday. There's always something they're doing, thinking about, obsessing over, that gives me a chuckle. What a nightmare being without your computer! When it comes to coping with depression, staying in touch online can be a real healer. Many may disagree and say that one needs to "see IRL people", but when the black dog bites, it can be so hard to venture out until the sun starts peering through the clouds once more. xoxoxox

Molly said...

Hi! You won a giveaway on my blog, Mollysews. I couldn't find your email anywhere... would you email me your mailing address to mollysewsblog@gmail.com and I can get the patterns in the mail to you!
Thanks, Molly

Vix said...

I'm sorry you've had a hard time of it. Depression is an evil thing to deal with.
I stopped watching Doctor Who after Chris Eccleston left, I might be tempted now, love Peter Capaldi! x

Lyric said...

Ms. Bobbi,

I stumbled upon your blog via a post you made over at a topic about Indie Pattern Makers ... ; here is what I wrote to you over there in case you don't get back:



Waving frantically at Bobbi Piles! It is so encouraging to read your response here. I too am working on wearing vintage styles for everyday life. Like I mentioned above it is proving to be larger than life but it's all good.

I do hope you keep your dream alive with it all. You can always pal about it with me. I'm on social media and have a blog journalizing the experience. http://www.sewcroandquilt.word....

https://www.facebook.com/pages...

It would be sew good having a vintage-style sewing bud.

Cheers,

Lyric